Today we had our 12th meeting as Mosaic and for the first time I was truly amazed by what happened. This was the first week I really felt like we started to become a community. Over the past 11 weeks I have struggled to find the reason why we are doing this. I have lost vision and have become quite apathetic to getting things ready. Discussions were planned at 11:30 on Sunday, worship was thrown together and prayer was completely out of the picture. I was becoming burnt out, yet was not really doing that much. It was just a part of the destructive cycle that I was on.
But, for the first time since we started, I had everything prepared by Saturday. Worship was picked out and the words were printed, the downstairs was clean, my discussion was planned, and dinner was figured out. It was pretty great. I woke up, played Eternal Sonata and went out to lunch with my wife. It was easy, it was relaxing, and it was just what I needed. There was no panicked cleaning or frustration over not having something done. Just a relaxing morning. We got home, and Thomas was here. I love hanging out with Thomas. He is just an awesome person to have a conversation with or to sit around and write folky music with. Slowly people showed up, including my cousins, whom I missed last week. We ate dinner and enjoyed the beautiful weather. We played some unplanned but beautiful music and then came discussion.
I spoke my heart about where I want discussion to go. I hope it did not come off as a lecture, because I truly meant for it not to be that way. I just wanted to make clear what I felt discussion could be and how we could get there. I came up with three simple guidlines that I truly believe will make discussion flower into something truly life shaking. They were: be humble, be mature, and be open. Through these I really believe we can do amazing things with our discussion.
Then came the first critique. This is something I very much believe will keep Mosaic on the right track. I wanted to hear, from the people involved, what they felt were our strengths and weaknesses. We talked of some of the things people felt were needed. It was good, honest and will definitely help us to grow as a community. We moved into the discussion for the night and talked through the Jars songs I posted a while back. We prayed and moved into late night hang out time, which was amazing. Never before have I seen the connection we had tonight. People talking, laughing, venting, and discussing all sorts of fun things. I started to see the community come together.
I realized something, if I am not putting my full effort into this, it will fail. If I am not working, praying, and preparing with all my heart, this will never grow. But, when you get excited and put your all into something, people want to follow along. You start to focus on the vision G-d gave you and you realize that this is something that could be truly life changing, and you would hate to be the one who stops it. I realize just how much I need to do, and how much more needs to be done for this to become the vision G-d has for it. Mosaic, let us rise up together as a true community and work to be the true Eucharist, the body of Christ.
Turn that shit up.