I am a a weird mess right now. I can’t pull the trigger and start working on my next video. I can start to arrange it,and even start planning sound, but the moment I think to start working on the drum beat, the thing that will push the project into motion, I freeze up in panic.
See, last week I made the best video I have ever made. Not only that, but it’s easily my most positively accepted video from fans and newcomers alike. It’s performing extremely well (I will state that its at 25k views not to brag, but so when I look back on this in the future I can hopefully smile at what extremely well meant at this point in my life) and its gotten almost entirely positive feedback.
And I am terrified that I can’t live up to it.
I am terrified of the inevitability that I will go back to the pattern of my videos that aren’t Undertale (which view wise has been total garbage). I am so nervous that all my new subscribers will be disappointed.
Which is why I am just doing exactly what I want to do for the track. Because if I start chasing what I think other people want, I will burn out. But it still doesn’t stop this intense fear that is paralyzing me.
I know once tomorrow comes around, crunch mode will push me out of it…
I just felt like I needed to get this feeling out there. Get it off my chest. Maybe it will help.
Thanks for listening.